The Gift of a QuestionMembership Status
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Location: Chesapeake, VAOccupation: Woodbutcher
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The Gift of a Question
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By wuliheron
06/06/03 (Edited 02/27/12)
Because we are ignorant we may learn. This is an essential paradoxical wisdom all of us understand intuitively as well as rationally. To a significant extent, the answers will come to us seemingly without effort if we just allow ourselves to admit and accept our ignorance and other imperfections. In a very meaningful sense, acceptance of our ignorance and imperfections is the source from which countless answers spontaneously burst forth. For that to happen, however, we must often be willing to first give the gift of a question.
Genuine questions do not demand answers or anything else for that matter. Our demands are separate issues; statements and desires that sometimes motivate us to ask questions but also can be so relentless we don't hear the answers when they come. At other times they can make our questions so rhetorical any modest germ of sincerity is drowned out. By finding ways to put aside our demands or otherwise cultivate acceptance, we create the possibility and environment to not only ask sincere questions, but to take in any possible answers.
Without acceptance then the depth of our skepticism, rationality, and pragmatism suffer. Being diligent and thorough in tearing apart and otherwise analyzing all the various possibilities life presents us is simply not enough to restore the loss. Pushing aside our feelings and striving for objectivity is one way to regain some of this loss, but merely one of many.
Exactly how we find acceptance within ourselves is a personal affair that can be as easy as taking our next breath or more difficult than rocket science. There isn't necessarily any intrinsic difficulty to the task, but the strength of our conflicts of interest can overwhelm our ability to cope effectively. At times we just seem to want to be angry, sad, and generally unaccepting for no apparent reason at all. So much so, that we can draw a complete blank when trying to think of ways to nurture the most meager amount of acceptance in order to feel better and think more clearly.
I find it personally helpful on such occasions to remember to think of something I can be grateful for, to explore the source of my feelings, or otherwise directly address my negativity in an assertive but accepting manner. The gift of even a rhetorical question to myself can be another place to begin the process, in the same vein as striving for objectivity. Writing down my feelings, speaking them out loud to myself, looking for a friend to talk to, meditating, etc. present just a few of the many positive ways I and countless others have found effective to facilitate the process of acceptance.
This process is the heart of philosophy, science, spirituality, and life in general, yet few people actually master the process in any kind of formal scholastic setting. As a result, many for example instead frantically search for answers, prey to deities with requests, and struggle to actualize ad hoc solutions to problems when simply asking sincere questions could save them tremendous amounts of this time, energy, confusion, and discomfort. Despite the enormous power of the simple gift of accepting questions, society at large does not demonstrably value it much. In fact, practicing the art of asking questions, especially personal introspection, is frequently cited as extremely confusing, frightening, unproductive, and generally undesirable.
In addition to our questions frequently being confused and mixed up with our personal demands then, questions can also feel threatening and useless to even the most self-confident and otherwise open-minded among us. Feeling needy and threatened are therefore two of the most difficult and common barriers to overcome if we are to ask questions and learn. Logic and reason, facts and faith, can all be wonderful tools for exploring life, but without acceptance their inherent power is severely diminished.
Acceptance then can be especially critical to any epistemological inquiry we might choose to under take. Whether we wish to conceive of acceptance in the moment as merely a tool or something much more personal and affecting, its influence on us all is undeniable. From the most prosaic acceptance of the air we breathe to the most profound of personal or intellectual insights, acceptance plays a central role in what we know and how we come to learn it. In our attempts to understand ourselves, the world around us, or existence itself, acceptance and the gift of the questions it makes possible for all of us can be invaluable and irreplaceable.
